The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

The last 36 hours have provided a snapshot of the highs and lows of dieting. There have been some moments to be proud of, times when temptation has been given into, and times when the shackles are well and truly off. We'll think of them in a Clint Eastwood inspired analogy - quite simply The Good, The Bad and The Ugly.

Lets start with The Good.

I've upped my game somewhat in the exercise stakes. As regular followers of this blog will know, my secondary aim for the year beyond achieving target weightloss is to run a 10k race. This goal is getting closer to becoming a reality as I'm going to be joining a number of my office colleagues in participating in a run towards the end of September. I've got about three months to get myself conditioned and I've every intention of doing myself justice and not just finishing the race but also breaking the 1 hour mark.

Yesterday my plan for the gym was to reach 5k. This was achieved, though it did require slowing to walking pace several times to catch my breath. However, 5k was travelled and just inside half an hour, which at this stage I was very pleased about

Thursday's trip to the gym

I went back to the gym again today, and tried to see how far I could get without slowing down. I managed to run 3k straight before I needed a breather. As you can see, 5K was notched up again. It was probably not wholly advisable to duplicate the training on back to back days, and I may well pay for it over the weekend, but I am happy to have hit the mark again. Laterally thinking that is 10k run - but combining the two sessions and running them back to back rather than with a 24hr gap will be a challenge

Friday's trip to the gym. Same distance, a touch faster

The Bad came in the form of dinner on Thursday night. After a stressful day for my other half, I very quickly and without hesitation agreed to buy take out for dinner. Pizza Hut was ordered and it goes without saying I devoured mine. I've learned in my many efforts to lose weight that on the times when you do give into temptation, you can still do a bit to help yourself. Rather than have deep pan, I opt for the Italian base, and I tend to go for a pizza with spicy toppings. I do enjoy the taste of jalapenos, but they also serve a purpose of ensuring the damage is minimised by staying in the system for a shorter period of time. You know what I mean, and I'm not going to spell it out!

A treat after a rough day is not a bad thing. I'm not one of these people who justifies what they eat by the amount of exercise they undertake, but I imagine that 5k either side of an unhealthy dinner will provide a little more leeway than if I had just gone ahead and scoffed my face.

Yes, I had a lot more to eat than a BBQ dip

The Ugly is a reflection of where I'm at this evening. Left to my own devices, bar the company of my kids, I've cracked open a beer to round off a long and tiring week, after a long and tiring week the week before. One has already become two. How many more are drunk will determine just how ugly things become.

There is cold, and there is Damme Cold

Beer and pizza are not traditional friends of weightloss. The fact I've exercised a bit doesn't really excuse them, or make for a balanced diet. What damage is done we'll have to see come Wednesday for the next weigh-in. But for now, I'm going to say cheers, enjoy a cold one and then face the weekend where I hope to restore some level of order in my food and drink consumption.

Wednesday Weigh-In 26 June

My first weigh-in in two weeks and the results are positive. In the last fortnight I've managed to lose 3lbs taking me down to 16st 10lbs. At nearly the midway point in 2013, this means I'm the lightest I've been so far, and therefore back on track after several indifferent months. Over the last 4 weeks I've said goodbye to 10lbs which I'd gained since early March.

Last time they said this was 6 March

What makes this particularly pleasing is that over the last week I've spent 5 days overseas on holiday. I don't know about you but for me this usually means relaxing a little too much, eating and drinking more than necessary and coming home with a bloated stomach. I know that after my last overseas holiday, taking advantage of going all-inclusive meant that I returned a larger man than when I departed Stansted.

So what was different this time? Well, for a start staying in self-catering accommodation allowed for a certain amount of control in terms of consumption. Sure, I found myself eating crisps and chocolate things every day, and enjoyed 2-4 cans of beer a night, but there wasn't anything over the top. The main reason though why I feel I didn't gain weight came down to the holiday venue itself. We travelled to Disneyland Paris, and as anybody who has ever been before will know, there is a hell of a lot of walking to be done! It would have been interesting to measure out the distance between the car park and entry to the resort as simply doing that a couple of times a day would have racked up a few kms. Throw into the mix of either pushing around a pram weighed down by a 4 month old, plus a couple of bags, or carrying a cream-crackered 4 year old as a passenger, and I can say that I got a bit of a workout, even if it wasn't a full-on cardio session down the gym.

What was perhaps noticeable during the trip was that my stamina remained high throughout the stay. Rewind the clock to the start of the year when I was heavier and I'm not sure I'd have been able to get through the early starts, long days, lengthy drives, hours of pacing and getting up the next day to do it all again. My family needed me to be full of energy on this trip, and I met that challenge.

Despite getting back home late on Sunday night, I made myself go to the gym on Monday. It wasn't the most productive session I've ever had, but I was pleased to have the dedication to go, when fatigue was telling me to stay away. I'm going to have to up my game with the running side of things as it looks like I'll be joining a number of colleagues in running a 10k in late September. Three months to get ready, but so long as I physically hold up between now and then, I see no reason why I can't notch up this achievement.

So nearly at the half-way point in Year of the Diet, I'm feeling very positive. My initial goal to lose 41lbs and get down to 15st 7lb is looking reachable. I know I can get there and probably surpass the target before the end of the year, but equally I'm aware the demons are never far away. If I do the right things more days than I don't, and can keep up my exercise, I back myself to get the job done.

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Happy Father's Day

So today is Father's Day. When I look back to my original aims for the diet this year one was very much family oriented. 

There is a new addition due in the household in February, and he along with his brother will require a daddy who is a little more mobile with a little more stamina.

Today rather puts things into focus and acts as a reminder of why I both want and need to get into better shape. Yes I want to do this for myself, but I'm also acutely aware that with responsibility for two young boys I need to take a proactive approach to my health and well being. While you can't take precaution against all medical conditions, getting my weight down and living a more active lifestyle will help in the prevention of illnesses with some association to obesity, such as diabetes.

If this line of thinking sounds a little bit heavy for a Sunday morning, particularly on a day that is supposed to be celebratory in recognition of fathers, let me explain. Like many people up and down the country, Father's Day is a bit of a bittersweet experience. I lost my dad when I young, and so inevitably my thoughts shift from time to time wondering how different things could have been if I'd been able to spend a bit more time with him, or how our relationship would have developed as I grew older. Today is even more poignant due to the fact that it was a Father's Day morning all those years ago that my dad fell ill, before being taken from us a few months later.

I was talking to my eldest about my father last night. Although he will never meet him, it is important to me that he knows about his other grandad. He knows his name, and understands that he was unwell, but I've always avoided the topic of death as it isn't something that a 4 year old should know about, and I certainly don't want to scare him into believing that he will lose his dad at the age of 9 just because I did. It came as a bit of a surprise then how the conversation unfolded.

When pressed for exactly where my dad is, as gone away was no longer a satisfactory answer, I said that he had gone to heaven. 'Like Gary?' I was asked. Puzzled and confused I asked my son to explain. 'Gary the guinea pig. He died and went to heaven.' It clicked that he was talking about a nursery pet. My son then added 'maybe your daddy and gary are friends in heaven.' A lovely thought from a 4 year old and one that put a smile back on my face, which then grew broader when asked if my dad likes carrots and cucumber like Gary!

I'm not going to dwell for too long on the past today. A small glass of whiskey last night toasted the memory of my late dad and this morning I'm back in the present playing jigsaws and changing nappies. The past won't be forgotten but my focus now is on the present, making the most of each day with my family and looking forward to a long and happy life. The diet is very much a part of that and so my father's day treat is going to be a short run around the block.

Something filled up
My heart with nothing
Someone told me not to cry

Now that I'm older

My heart is colder

And I can see that it's a lie

Children wake up

Hold your mistake up

Before they turn the summer into dust

If children don't grow up

Their bodies get bigger but their hearts get torn up

We're just a million little gods causing rains storms turning every good thing to rust

I guess we'll just have to adjust

Arcade Fire - Wake Up

 

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Mind over malaise

So, after 'resting' the last couple of days to allow my leg a little time to heal, I was very much looking forward to attacking the treadmill today at the gym. My kit was packed in my bag and I'd even parked up next to the sports complex this morning to ensure that I would go. However, as the morning wore on, apathy and indifference began to enter my thoughts. Did I really want to do this today? Why not just pick things up again on Monday?

As I walked to my car I was still undecided. It was very much a question of take it or leave it. And I left it. Rather than go to the gym I headed to a well known supermarket chain to get a father's day card. I then drove back, parked in the exact same spot, and utterly disgusted at myself I took my gym bag out of the boot and did some training after all.

Dieting can be an easy thing when you're motivated. Making sure you stick to it on those days when you really can't be bothered are the ones that can decide how successful you will be. Today was a small moral victory, mind over malaise. Here's hoping that I won't have to fight with myself too often

Three Reasons to Feel Good

After my calf tightened up at the gym on Tuesday, I've spent the last couple of days away from the treadmill. As much as it has been a good chance to rest up, I've missed going. Rewind the clock to a few weeks back and I never thought I'd be saying that! My leg feels a lot better this evening though so I plan to squeeze in a little bit of huffing and puffing (aka running) tomorrow before the weekend kicks in.

The fact that I've dropped the physical part of my diet regime has not meant that I've given myself a green light to ignore the eating bit. I've added some fruit to my daily routine (who doesn't love peaches!) and enjoyed a fat free yoghurt with my lunch, but nothing that it going to substantially deviate from the three meal a day plan.

There was a brief moment of temptation at work today, when I was presented with a large box of Swiss chocolates from some very grateful students I've helped to secure jobs. These were very quickly offered to colleagues throughout the office and I'm pleased to say that I was able to keep my hands away from them. As my newest reader (big hello to Emma in Warwickshire) pointed out, this gave me three reasons to feel good. Receiving the chocolates in the first place was great, and a lovely gesture that was as unexpected as it was welcome. Secondly, in giving the chocolates to my colleagues, I was able to turn the tables and be the person providing the gift. And finally, I can be all smug and sanctimonious that I was strong willed and able to resist. Yay for me.

Would indulging in one chocolate have hurt my diet in isolation? No, of course not. Would one have led to another, and then probably more? Undoubtedly yes. I look forward to the day when I manage to find that balance where I can enjoy a treat and trust myself to leave it at that. Until then, I'm sticking to Plan A and abstaining from bad stuff wherever possible.

Wednesday Weigh-In - 12 June

After the excitement of losing 6lbs last week, realistically I knew that level of result was not going to be repeated. It therefore came as no surprise to me when I climbed aboard the scales today and saw the following.

The right side of 17

Not a whole lot of change there, but I'm by no means disappointed. The pragmatist in me is whispering in my ear that I've lost 7lbs in two weeks, which is a fantastic outcome, regardless of the fact that over the past 7 days I've only managed to shift 1lb. Instead I'm going to look at the positives. I've lost weight despite eating a lot more than I needed to at a family BBQ on Saturday, which was swiftly followed up by a couple of ciders in the evening. My Sunday turned into a write off too as the lure of chocolate proved greater than my desire to work off the sausages and burgers from the day before.

I'm pleased to have continued with my weekday gym activity, having hit the treadmill 4 times - the 5th wasn't possible due to a meeting in London, where I managed to squeeze in a reasonable amount of walking to and from stations. My running hasn't particularly improved in terms of distance, though I'm aware I'm always up against the clock trying to fit in exercise during my lunch hour. Yesterday's session was somewhat disrupted by a tightening of my right calf muscle, which caused me to lighten the workout. I don't want to act like a precious professional footballer, but if something doesn't feel quite right it is better to pay attention rather than make the situation worse. After resting up last night, my leg feels better this morning and we'll have to see if I can put it to the test again later today.

I've had a recommendation to check out Joel Fuhrman's book Eat To Live. Ordinarily I'd avoid reading material that concerns diets as I've always been of the belief that a diet is a personal journey for discovering what works for you and how to motivate yourself along the way. However, as a free copy is available to download from here I may give it a whirl and see what Joel has to say.

A bit of advance warning - there won't be a weigh-in next Wednesday, but come back in two weeks time to see how things have progressed.

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Seeing is believing

This evening when I sat down to eat dinner, my jeans started sliding down. My wife enquired if I was showing off because my waist has got smaller, which I laughed off. That hadn't been my intention - I'd simply forgotten to transfer a belt from my work trousers. However, thinking back now on that comment, I'm raising a bit of a smile. A few weeks ago I would have struggled to wear these jeans at all. Tonight, I need a belt to stop me flashing a builders bum around the house.

My 4 month old then celebrated with me by sharing a little bit of milky vomit on my jeans, which was most generous of him.

It does make me wonder though. I know that running is great for weightloss, but how will a prolonged period of running over the next few months (assuming I maintain current enthusiasm) affect my body shape? I'm not expecting miracles - having scaled down to 14 1/2 stone in the past I know that my tummy resembled a saggy Tesco carrier bag rather than a well chiselled six pack, courtesy of retaining the body skin of a 24st bloke. However, in the course of dieting back then, I rarely hit the treadmill, preferring instead to use a cross-trainer or exercise bike for cardio work, mixed with fixed weight resistance training.

Starting from a smaller waistline this time around, coupled with several years of not being as big as I once was, maybe the results of my anticipated weightloss will produce something more aesthetically pleasing than just happy bathroom scales. Time will tell I guess, and seeing will be believing. In the meantime, I won't complain if my jeans occasionally slide down - beats the hell out of busting your trousers down the seam!

My trousers last December - split at a petrol station

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Making Graham Happy

In the last 24 hours, I've been dealing with temptation. The lure of a pint after work on a Friday afternoon was avoided. The tub of Celebrations gifted by a satisfied client was palmed off to my wife, while the offer of an ice cold bottle of cider as reward for another good week of exercise and watching what I eat was reluctantly declined. It isn't a case that I don't believe I should have a treat once in a while; it is more the fact that I know me only too well and one treat will lead to another. Let's be honest, one glass on a Friday night is never enough!

I'm often asked how do I stay so resolute and focused. I'll admit it takes a certain amount of pigheadedness to stick solely to three meals a day, particularly now that I've picked up an exercise bug. While a certain amount of motivation is directed towards where I want to be with my weight, the vast majority is cased in desire to not return to what I've been before. Having spent a large portion of my life as what can be most kindly described as Supersize, I know only too well the cumulative effect of having a few treats (and all the rest).

8 years ago I participated in a TV show for the BBC, called Making Slough Happy. 50 of the town's residents were put through a programme of activities, with the ambitious aim to try to make us all happier in our lives. I've managed to dig out a copy of one of the episodes and edited some of my footage, to visually share exactly what the 25 year old me looked like.

When I signed up for the show, I didn't necessarily expect to camp out with a peculiar psychologist in the New Forest; hugging trees was clearly not for me. However, one hope that I did have which I expressed during my initial interview was that through participation I may find a way to lose weight. 23st+ Graham wasn't a pretty sight I'm sure you'll agree. 

While the activities I was involved with in the show did not focus on my physical well-being, I've always been aware that Making Slough Happy did have a profound change on my life. Firstly, it helped me to reach a decision to leave a job that I'd not enjoyed for some time, but secondly while camped out with virtual strangers, I felt compelled to reach out to a distant friend who I missed. That person I've now been married to for almost five years and is mother to my two beautiful children. Good decision if you ask me.

A combination of those factors led me some 18 months after the show was filmed to diet, having created a platform for me to move forward. I lost 9 stone in the next two years and went from the big guy in the video to somebody who was a lot more happy with themselves. Having put back on some of that weight in the last year or so, my motivation is clear - I don't want to go back to how I was. So if I decline the occasional treat or seem quite anal at times about maintaining my diet, it isn't a question of self-punishment; I just know only too well what overindulgence can lead to.

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Wednesday Weigh-In - 5 June

Having been completely on the ball with my diet over the past 7 days, I would have been pretty annoyed if I hadn't seen positive movement on the scales this morning. I have to say I am pleased to have been rewarded for my efforts. Last week the scales read 17st 6lb. Today, well you can see for yourselves.

Going to start with a 16 next week!

All that talk about going back to the primitive was put into action. Breakfast, lunch, dinner. No alcohol. Barely a snack (I treated myself to a Smarties ice cream from the freezer on Sunday night for having got through the rest of the weekend intact). Add in more exercise than I'd done the previous month and the standard diet formula of eat less sweat more has proven very effective.

To move forward from here, I can't rest on my laurels. Proving I can stick to a diet for 1 week is fine in the short term, but my long term goal is still way off in the distance. I need to build upon this success and ensure I apply the same principles next week and the weeks to come. I know that it is unlikely I will replicate the same dramatic weightloss every time, but I'm motivated by the longer game rather than instant results.

Immediate challenges on the horizon present themselves in the form of a networking event this afternoon in London (will I have a drink, won't I? No chance to hit the gym today) plus my nephew has a birthday and I'm off to a BBQ and I've never yet been able to manage to ration myself sensibly when there are plates of charcoaled meat to consume.

However, enough about the future. I will take a moment or two to feel smug for meeting what I set out to achieve this week. The diet is back with a vengeance, and this time I'm not going to let things slip.

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Keep on running

Tomorrow is the first Wednesday in a while I am looking forward to. Over the past week, I've stuck to my guns by keeping to a three meal a day no snack diet plan, and got off my flabby backside and exercised. Lots of it too. I've run on six out of seven days and quite unexpectedly I am starting to enjoy it. Things are becoming that little bit easier every time I hit the treadmill, presumably because my body is adjusting to being used rather than abused, while my pathetic lungs are showing signs of playing ball too.

How do I know that things are improving? Well, having taken snaps of the workout summary most of the days I've been at the gym, I can monitor my progress and the images tell their own story. The first was my session last Friday when in just under 24 minutes I covered 3.53km in a mixture of run and walk. The second pic shows my workout today, when in a similar time of just over 24 minutes I managed an additional half a kilometre.

Gym on Friday

Gym on Tuesday

Simply put, I've been able to increase the intensity of my running, both by upping the pace (I now run at 12k/h, walking 7k/h) and by being able to maintain running for that little bit longer. My aim now is to extend my running time, building up my stamina until I'm able to run 5km flat without needing to slow down to catch my breath.

Physically I'm feeling better for all this exercise. I thought I may have a few aches and pains from running, but barring some slight tight calf muscles, I'm feeling good and hence able to run again the following day. I'm expecting to see a weight loss when I get on the scales tomorrow which be welcome. The challenge is to replicate the past 7 days so that it becomes the norm rather than the exception.

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