Selfie-Evolution

I was somewhat dismayed to read that 'Selfie' has been made Word of 2013 by the wonks at Oxford Dictionaries. Quite apart from the fact that people have been snapping poorly taken photographs of themselves ever since Kodak was first marketed in the late 19th century, surely #YearOfTheDiet has been the most important new addition to the English language over the last 12 months? Well, maybe not!

But just to prove my point, below is a selfie that a younger me took during the summer of 1992, a few days short of my 12th birthday. What information can we glean from this Bailey-esque image? Well, firstly it goes without saying I wasn't the prettiest kid in my class. Double chin and unkept hair were never a good look, nor indeed is the stupid face I've pulled for the camera. The other thing that can be established from this photo is that in my earlier years, I supported The Reds.

I was a hit with the girls. Not!

Like a huge number of children of my age, I was a glory-hunting supporter of Liverpool FC. Before my sadomasochistic tendencies came to the fore and I followed Slough Town through the depths of the non-league, I was a long-distance Kopite. Using money from my 11th birthday, I bought my first ever football jersey, the Liverpool home shirt in distinctive red with white Adidas stripes over the right shoulder. You tend not to see too many of these replicas these days, given they marked the start of the ill-fated Souness era. For some reason though, despite outgrowing the shirt within a couple of years and switching allegiance to my local club, I retained the shirt for nostalgia.

Having spent years gathering dust, I recently found myself reacquainted with that shirt. I did think about flogging it on ebay just as I did with a programme and ticket stub from my one and only Anfield visit (Liverpool lost 1-0 to Norwich, last game before the Kop was redeveloped), but couldn't see there was much demand for a 22 year old well worn replica shirt.

Instead, and for my own personal amusement, I though I would try the shirt on. Now bearing in mind I bought this as an 11 year old, wore it during after school football clubs at primary school and can be seen in the selfie above modelling it just shy of my 12th birthday, I didn't expect to get much more than my head to fit into it. On the contrary, my torso didn't need any help to squeeze in, as the next selfie below shows.

21 and a half years later, and I'm 11 years old again

Even factoring that I was a big child and probably bought a larger shirt than I needed for longevity, it seems crazy to me that I can comfortably wear something that I adorned in my pre-teenage days. When I boast about being in the best shape of my adult life, the claim probably holds true for most of my childhood too. Wonder how much longer before I start trading clothes with my 5 year old?

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Wednesday Weigh-In - 27 November

In the days before the internet and Football Manager, I used to be an avid reader. One of my favourite authors was Stephen King, which I blame mostly on my sister for renting the movie of IT from the Videobox when I was about 10 or 11. You may recall the particularly creepy clown called Pennywise who tormented children by informing them about balloons that "all float" - and if you don't here he is in his full glory

One of King's lesser known books, possibly because the film made of it paled in comparison with The Shining or Carrie, was Thinner. The lead character was an overweight gentleman called Billy Halleck, who kills a gypsy woman with his car, before acquiring a curse that causes him to lose weight. Uncontrollably. When trying to eat more to compensate for the weightloss, it only helped to speed up the process.

I'm starting to wonder if I've knocked down a gypsy woman and had a similar curse bestowed upon me. After a weekend which was firmly in the feast category rather than famine, I expected to have gained a pound or two. Instead, I've lost a pound, taking me down to 14st 2lb.

Thinner!

I was speaking to an industry colleague last week who used to be a personal trainer in another life. He suggested that I have sped up my metabolism, through earlier weightloss and the uptake of aerobic exercise. This probably makes more sense in explaining the scales this week than putting it down to a hit and run incident with an old crone. I'm not going to take it for granted that I can eat what I want and get away with it, because that sort of thinking is what has caused my to regain weight after previous diets. But it is reassuring to think that the occasional blowout doesn't necessarily lead to weight gain.

So the scales today put me at 14st 2lbs. There are only 4 Wednesday weigh-ins remaining in 2013. Can I sneak under 14 stone by Christmas Day? We'll have to see. It wouldn't be a horror story if I don't, but would make for a happy ending to a year of hard graft.

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• Cold, wet and far from miserable
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Still in the chase

In mid-October, my weekly ParkRun newsletter informed me of a competition they were running in conjunction with Lucozade Sport, one of their sponsors. #ChaseThePlace has a pretty simple premise; run or volunteer at 8 ParkRun events during a defined 8 week period and you will get your name thrown into the hat for a place in the London Marathon, competing in the Lucozade Sport team.

When I first read the email, I barely battered an eyelid. There are hundreds of these events taking place every Saturday morning, with thousands upon thousands participating. After the first weekend of #ChaseThePlace there were over 35,000 people in the competition. You don't have to be much of a betting guru to realise the odds are not exactly in your favour at this point, so I just nodded, not really paying this competition another thought.

After three weeks, the number of runners had drastically reduced, with just over 10,000 still in with a chance. And then a big carrot was dangled in front of me. To spice up the competition, the sponsors could pick a week to reward runners for recording a personal best, by giving a second entry to the final ballot assuming all 8 races were completed. Partly motivated by this, and with Week 4 selected by the Lucozade people, I smashed my PB, knocking a massive 44 seconds off the previous mark.

What a way to spend a Saturday morning - Photo by George Mardall

Week 5 came and went and now I'm told there are 5,747 ParkRunners still in the competition. Three more Saturday mornings to go and with the numbers likely to suffer a bit more attrition, the odds are starting to come a little more in my favour.

Should the unthinkable happen and I were to win the competition, it would be an interesting dilemma. I've never run beyond 10k, so to suddenly be elevated into a marathon would be challenging in the extreme. Would I be up to the task or be able to dedicate time in the early months of 2014 to get myself race ready? Who knows. The fact is before the start of July, the notion of me getting up on a Saturday morning was implausible. Now I look forward to pulling on the running gear throughout the week and bracing the cold autumnal temperatures that Saturday morning in Black Park offers. If offered the chance, it would be pretty rude not to accept.

Of course, while this competition provides me with a nice distraction, it is just a bit of fun. Turning up to run 8 successive weeks is a walk in the park compared to the commitment I've demonstrated to losing weight this year. I wouldn't be physically able to do this now, had I not put in the hard graft to shed the pounds and become more active.

#YearOfTheDiet has been a yearlong marathon. #ChaseThePlace would be the cherry on top.

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I want to be so skinny that I rot from view

On Friday I took a trip to Brighton for a meeting with a professional body that I am a Trustee of. It was the first time I had met with my industry colleagues since our annual conference in May. I turned up to the meeting three stone lighter than when they last saw me and it was nice to receive the compliments that were forthcoming. I've not been dieting to gain public approval, but it never hurts to hear people saying nice things about the way you look.

That said, I've started to notice a slight undercurrent of tension towards my weightloss, though not I should add from my PlaceNet colleagues. Nobody has been outright negative but whereas previously I may have been told that I'm doing amazingly well, more recently comments have been more along the lines of 'you don't have to lose any more.' They are right of course, I don't. It has been 2 months since I passed the target I set for myself at the start of the year, and I have subsequently gone on to lose quite a bit more. But if anybody has concern that I may be taking things a little too far, I'd like to quell those fears.

I do understand that dieting and weightloss can become an obsession. I'd go as far as saying that without a little bit of that, sustained effort would be difficult in the extreme, but I can assure anybody who requires reassurance that I'm very much in control of what I am doing. It was only very recently that I indicated I would not actively diet beyond the end of the year and instead attempt to maintain my weight. Not exactly the forward planning you may expect from somebody developing problems.

Over the past week, I've reacquainted myself with the acclaimed 'The Holy Bible' from Manic Street Preachers. In amongst the very dark lyrics that characterise the entire album, is a harrowing tale of anorexia in the song 4st 7lbs. Here is a taster

Karen says I've reached my target weight

Kate and Emma and Kristin know it's fake

Problem is diets not a big enough word

I wanna be so skinny that I rot from view

I want to walk in the snow

And not leave a footprint

I want to walk in the snow and not soil it's purity 

I choose, my choice, I starve to frenzy
Hunger soon passes and sickness soon tires
Legs bend, stockinged I am twiggy
And I don't mind the horror that surrounds me
Self-worth scatters, self-esteems a bore
I long since moved to a higher plateau
This disciplines so rare so please applaud
Just look at the fat scum who pamper me so

Pretty vivid stuff, but not me. Dieting has been a means to an end. I want to be healthy, happy and fit. If I was putting my body under undue strain, I wouldn't be surviving the sleep deprived nights that my teething, ear infected, snotty but delightful 9 month old has subjected me to over the last fortnight. I wouldn't be getting up on a cold Saturday morning and shaving another second off my personal best for a 5k ParkRun. 

Need further proof? Well, in the last 36 hours, I've had a couple of pints over lunch. Lunch was a hearty lamb hotpot rather than my usual skimpy salad. Last night was take out pizza. Lunch today was bacon sandwiches on crusty bread. Throw in a carvery plus one and half desserts tonight, and the can of beer I've been enjoying while typing away, and I think it is safe to say that I'm not obsessively counting calories! 

If you do know somebody who undergoes a dramatic weight change in a short space of time, by all means ask the question to ensure that they are okay and taking good care of themselves. If that person has been blogging on average every three days, documenting the detail behind their success and in the best shape of their life, you can probably give them the benefit of the doubt. 

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Weigh-In 20 November

Junior has left me feeling rather weary after a series of night times that have been very patchy on sleep. With that in mind I'll keep this entry short, but sweet. Two pounds lost since last Wednesday, meaning I'm now the lightest I've ever been as an adult, and can probably go back several years into my childhood too.

Like this!

Back in the days before I started blogging, I used to track my weight on a spreadsheet. On 18 November 2009 and for one week only, I got down to 14st 4lbs. Well, fast forward virtually 4 years to the day and I've gone one better. If you can forgive a break from the convention of the Wednesday article, I'm also including a snap of the scales when set to display pounds. For the first time, this starts with a 1, rather than a 2 or even a 3 as I've been accustomed to in the past. Very much like this.

Like this more!

Wild celebrations followed the weigh-in this morning, in the form of a trip to CostCutter where I treated myself to a Nature Valley Crunch oat thing and a bottle of Ribena Light. I certainly know how to rock the diet boat these days.

Hopefully I'll be rewarded with a bit more sleep tonight from Junior. If not, he may find himself being subjected to The Ashes.

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70

When I started out on the diet back in January, one of the key motivators was to lose weight so as to enable me to be a fitter and healthier man for my son and his then unborn brother. Ten and a half months later and that remains very much a driving force that keeps me on a successful path. I don't just want to be a good daddy in the short term; I want to be around to see them grow up into fine men and hopefully have families of their own.

If he were alive today, my father would be celebrating his 70th birthday. Sadly he passed a little under 24 years ago, denying him the opportunity to see his children mature into adults and produce five wonderful grandchildren. His illness was not preventable, but disease related to obesity is. I've got a responsibility to take care of myself, so that my boys have a dad to be there for the long term.

I've only very recently achieved a healthy weight according to the Body Mass Index. My task is now to maintain it, for my own health and for the good of my family. Motivation indeed.

Happy birthday dad. Wish you could be here.

The Fantastic 4

De La Soul proclaimed that 3 is The Magic Number. If you don't believe me, listen for yourself.

However, I'm starting to believe there is something a lot more special about the number 4. Here is why.

In my last weigh-in, I had lost 4 pounds

In doing so, my cumulative weightloss for 2013 passed 4 stone

It has been 4 months since I made my ParkRun debut, back in July

Today I recorded my best placing, crossing the line number 104

I set a new PB today of 24:15, shaving 44 seconds off my previous best.

Coincidentally, it was the 4th event of the #ChaseThePlace contest, keeping me in the hunt for a place on the Lucozade Sport London Marathon team. In recording a PB today, I'll have two entries in the hat, assuming I run the next 4 ParkRun weekends.

This afternoon, my sister insisted I needed to eat chocolate because I am getting too thin, and so I enjoyed 4 little toblerones.

4 years ago, in the post-Christmas sale I bought a pair of 34 inch jeans, with a view to fitting into them once I lost my Christmas podge. They have spent the last 4 years gathering dust in my wardrobe. I've been very smugly wearing them today for the first time.

So there we go. 3 may be The Magic Number, but this evening, I'm pretty happy associated with The Fantastic 4.

I would go out tonight but I haven't got a stitch to wear

Wow. I don't know about you but I certainly noticed the drop in temperature the last couple of days. I guess winter is upon us and we'll have to get used to more mornings of scraping ice off the windscreen. The cold snap rather took me by surprise and when I waved off my wife and little one Wednesday morning, I was hit by a moment of panic. It was chilly, what on earth did I have to wear?

The problem with reaching new territory in terms of weight is that I don't necessarily have clothes in the wardrobe that I need any more. At one stage I had jeans in every size from 34-48 inch, tops from M-XXL. A clearout last year got rid of my supersize gear but having only been this sort of weight for two weeks of my adult life, I'm rather short on suitable clothing for winter mornings.

I've been getting by with 36 inch trousers for work, held up by a belt I bought a few weeks back. Incidentally, I've had to move from the first hole on that belt to the fifth already, so I may have to invest in another one soon! M sized smart shirts have been the order of the day for wearing to the office, but yesterday morning that would not have done because it was blimming cold. I went through all of the knitwear I own, and narrowed down the the L sized garments, as I currently don't have anything in M. They were loose, baggy and not going to be very effective. I settled on the least bad, but it was a makeshift solution. If I plan to maintain or lose further weight, a bit of retail therapy will be justified.

As The Smiths once sang, 'I would go out tonight, but I haven't got a stitch to wear' - two young kids rather restricts the going out, but it would be nice to have some clothes to show off the new and improved figure. Think I'll be hitting the Christmas sales in a few weeks time.

Wednesday Weigh-In 13 November

After a couple of weeks without scales movement, today’s weigh-in produces a couple of landmarks. Since I weighed myself last Wednesday morning, I have shed 4lbs, taking me down today to 14st 5lbs. In doing so, I’ve gone past 4st in total weightloss in 2013, having tipped the scales at 18st 6lbs on 2nd January. That target of 41lbs loss I set myself seems somewhat modest, now that I’m 57lbs lighter.

14:9 to 14:5 - big week for the diet

The other milestone reached today is that medically at least I am normal. No doubt family, friends and loved ones will scoff at the suggestion that I am in any way normal, but according to the Body Mass Index, that is exactly what I am. I’m not going to be doing cartwheels about this as I don’t hold the BMI with much credence, but it is good to know that if I had to see my GP today, they couldn’t tell me that I’m overweight.

Me normal? Healthy Weight? Surely not!

I’m now on the cusp of being the lightest I’ve been as an adult. In November 2009 I very briefly got down to 14st 4lbs, before the wheels started to come off that dieting effort. With Christmas coming up on the horizon I’ll be honest and admit that I expect to gain a few lbs over the festive season, but I’ve no intention of allowing myself to regress over a sustained period. Before I get to turkey, stuffing and bottomless tubs of Quality Street, I’ve got a good month in which to keep doing what has worked so well over the last year. I’m not going to put pressure on myself to reach further targets, but it would be nice if I can do the following.

Reach 14st 3lbs and not only am I the lightest I’ve been since some long lost forgotten moment in my childhood, but I’ll also weigh under 200lbs. Bearing in mind at my biggest, I was 336lbs, that is some achievement.

Reach 14st dead and I’ll have lost 10st from my heaviest point. That is like a whole person removed from my body.

Dip under 14st and I’m hitting new territory altogether. If I see the scales starting 13st, I don’t think it is realistic to chase anything less, and it would all be about maintaining from that point on rather than actively seeking further weightloss.

I’m getting close to the end of this journey, but there are still a few more miles to go. Whatever the outcome from here, I can look back on the past 317 days with a great sense of satisfaction. 

Cold, wet and far from miserable

There once was a time when Saturdas meant a lenghthy spell in bed, big lunch followed by watching the local team play football. Kids rather changed this with weekend mornings taken up with cartoons and board games as the norm.

Last night was the second out of three when the little one got me out of bed at stupid o'clock and didn't allow his poor old dad to get much sleep before the morning arrived. With a light frost outside and some very weary limbs, I could have been forgiven for crawling back under a duvet rather than pulling on my running gear, but then that would rather have ruined my weekend. I've come to look forward to my weekly ParkRun. Having not stepped foot in a gym since August, it represents my only regular aerobic exercise, and is something I've come to enjoy.

It was a bit chilly this morning, both in the car and at Black Park. I struggled to get my fingers working when setting up the app on my phone, but after a quick warm up, I was ready to go. Conditions under foot were not great. There was lots of puddles and slushing ground to contend with. My lower legs returned home a different colour from that which left the house! Despite this and feeling a touch rough due to recent sleeplessness, I completed the course in 25m 05s, a mere 6 seconds slower than the PB I recorded last week.

Gratuitous leg shot - pure filth

If I hadn't run this morning, I'd have struggled for the rest of the day. Exercise helps to shape the day, whereas if I had stayed home, I'd have overeaten, gone looking for sugar hits and been chasing that buzz until bedtime. There is nothing worse than existing on a mix of sugar and caffeine, artificially awake when your body wants to shut down. Running helps to escape that funk, wakes the body from it's slumber and gives you an excuse to consume later in the day. So a nice afternoon/early evening ensued with friends, and I was able to eat what I wanted. True I am now shattered and it is relatively early on a Saturday night, but I should sleep well tonight unless little one intervenes.

I've always advocated a mix of exercise and food control for successful dieting. It is no surprise to me that my weightloss accelerated after I started running at the end of May. If you are looking to shift a few pounds, make sure you find an activity that you enjoy, or at least are prepared to persevere with, to support your efforts. Running isn't for everybody and I'm a little surprised that I've got into it, given I'd previously had no interest.

If I can get off my backside on a saturday morning to get caked in mud in inclement conditions, but come home with a smile of my face, I'm sure you can too.

Guilt Free Lunch

Way back in January when I started out on this weightloss mission, I wrote an article in which I declared Subway Is Dead To Me, With the exception of a special day in February when my little one was born, I have steered clear. Today I broke with the convention and enjoyed a footlong 'Big Beef Melt' on honey oat bread, toasted with cheese, served with lettuce, cucumber, green peppers, pickles and drizzled in sweet onion sauce (for some absurd reason they didn't have honey mustard so had to go with an alternative).

Here it is in its full glory

Damn that Sub looks good!

I savoured every mouthful and scoffed the lot. Now, this isn't exactly my usual behaviour, or at least it hasn't been over the last 10 months or so. I usually get by with a pretty humble salad for lunch these days, which is just as well because making this a regular option would prove costly, both to the wallet and the diet success. The fact is though, a treat once in a while is allowed, and I think my circumstances today justified it.

I was awake from just after 3 after the little one decided he was no longer asleep. Poor little thing has been teething and plagued with the sniffles, so it has not been uncommon for he and I to get acquainted during the night. However, unlike most other nights, he really was determined not to go back to sleep. Blowing raspberries, pulling my ears, chuntering away. Any sleep I managed between then and 6 was patchy in the extreme. The alarm went off and it was action stations, needing to get the two of us out of the house quickly and on the road.

Today was an appointment with the neurosurgeon to discuss the results of a recent MRI scan on his head and spine. Unfortunately to get there meant joining the commute into London. It wasn't a good sign when I had to queue to get onto the M4 in the first place. The radio told me what I didn't want to hear; an accident further down the road causing delays. We'd set off with plenty of time to spare, but this was not what was wanted. Tired, grouchy, a little nervous about the outcome of the appointment, and with raspberries blowing at me from the back seat while pootling along at a snail's pace, I realised that I hadn't had time for breakfast. Fortunately I'd had the sense to have some cans of diet pepsi on hand to provide a caffeine boost for the journey, but even so, this was not the best way to start the day.

It took a while to get into town. Typically little man fell asleep towards the end of the journey meaning when we parked up he woke up grumpy and made pretty clear his demands for milk. Fortunately that soothed the beast and brought back my smiley boy. The appointment followed soon afterwards and there was much relief when told there was no change from the previous scan and we continue as we have been doing for the last few months. No need for any operations, just get on with life and scan again in a number of months time.

I managed to get little man to his nursery just in time for him to sit down with the other babies for lunch. Home via the GP to request a repeat prescription and then off to work for the afternoon. Still no food and by the time I reached the office I'd been awake for more or less 9 hours. Subway was calling out to me and why not. It had been a long morning. The treat was justified, Best of all, that is all it was. A treat. A one off. There will be no repeat. I'll be munching on my spinach and cucumber tomorrow. I'll have had my porridge for breakfast. I'll be returning to what has served me so well over the last year. Self control is the single most important factor when it comes to dieting. Right now I have have it, and so long as that remains the case, bad habits won't creep back in.

So here is to an occasional guilt free lunch. You served me well today Subway, bringing me out of a sleep deprived, anxiety filled morning and setting me up for the rest of the day. But having met my needx, you can go back to being dead to me once more. See you again in the future some time.

Wednesday Weigh-In 6 November

I'm back at work after two months at home with the little one. The day job side of things has been fine thus far but it is a bit weird not seeing my baby boy quite as much, while paying other people to have the privilege to see his smiley happy face. My role now is porridge feeder in the morning and getting a shattered child ready for bed when I get home. Throw into the mix some sniffles and teething and I have to admit the contrast between working dad and stay-at-home dad is quite startling. Still, things will settle down soon enough.

My return to work probably came at the right time. I've been struggling myself with a cold in recent days and found the leftover Hallowe'en chocolate far too difficult to resist. Tied to my desk with no desire to queue up at the campus Costcutter means during the day I can regulate my food intake with ease. This is probably just as well as I was starting to feel a little porky after a few days of comfort eating.

The weigh-in this morning keeps me at 14st 9lbs. The fact the scales haven't gone up is a touch miraculous, though I suppose my Saturday morning run and first couple of days in the office came to my aid. While I'm not getting the same exercise that I was from walking to and from school twice a day, I've managed to incorporate a bit of running into my morning commute, legging it from the school gate to my car and from the car park to my office.

Blurred image, non-moving display

At the weekend the kids were taken to meet Santa. I'm really not big on Christmas, particularly when mince pies have been on sale in supermarkets since early September, but given this was the only date we could book I reluctantly agreed. I've not been to the Grotto at Harrods before but they make quite an effort, once you eventually find the place in that maze. Afterwards, there was a chance encounter with an England international midfielder. I was in the baby changing area freshening up the little one before giving him some milk, when suddenly I found myself face to face, or should that be pram to pram, with Liverpool player Jordan Henderson. It wasn't really the setting for chasing autographs or getting a picture taken, but then again I doubt he'd have had the courage to ask this leading diet blogger for one! Joking aside, my mind was taken back to a moment a few years ago when I presented a Slough Town footballer with an end of season award. He was the top scorer at the club, a centre forward and while not a giant was pretty average height for a footballer. And as the picture below illustrates, I absolutely dwarfed him.

The proudest moment of Ian Hodges footballing career

Jordan Henderson - Liverpool vs Bolton 27/08/2011 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Now, while I lack the vanity to say that I'm built like a professional footballer these days (I'm clearly not), had a photo been taken with me and Jordan Henderson on Sunday, the contrast in our respective physiques would not have been so glaring. I much prefer how I look and feel today, than when I was supersize. The scales may not have moved for a couple of weeks, but there is no disappointment on my part. If I'd been offered 14st 9 by November at the start of the year, I would have snapped your hand off. But I'm still motivated to try to lose a few more pounds before the year is out, and hope to get things moving again in the next 7 days.