What motivates a man to diet

Three days into the diet, and I've forgotten just how tiring it can be when your body has an endless supply of fuel cut off. I've moved beyond the stomach burn sensation and instead found myself lethargic. It has been tempting to reach for some sugary badness, but I've resisted so far. I'm writing this at 2.30 and dinner time seems a long way off.

As things stand, I don't have a specific target to work towards in 2015. I'm not booked in for any long runs, though I'm quite tempted by the idea of the North London Half. A course that runs right through Wembley Stadium certainly appeals, but it comes around a little too soon for me to get into any sort of shape. Having done the Royal Parks Half back in October without a great deal of training, I'm reluctant to make the same mistake again.

I guess my main motivation remains as it was when this blog started out a couple of years ago. I wanted to be fit and healthy for the sake of my boys, and that hasn't really changed. I'm not going to be much use to them if I continue with the gorging I've done in recent months. There are too many reminders in my life right now which demonstrate the fragility of our existence, and it would be a waste of my time on Earth if I continue to eat myself to an early grave.

Later this week, I plan to attend the funeral of a guy who I've been going to football matches with for over a decade, He passed before Christmas at the tender age of 34. I wrote this tribute which was published in the Slough Town programme for the match against Burnham that was due to be played yesterday but was called off due to a waterlogged pitch. I've been to more than my fair share of funerals over the years, but rarely have I had to go one for one of my peers. It certainly puts things into perspective and makes me realise how lucky I am to be alive and have a family of my own.

This month marks the 25th anniversary of my father's death. As someone who lost their dad as a child, I owe it to my boys to ensure they have a daddy who is fit, healthy and around for the long term. And so gaining control of my eating, cutting down on drinking and returning to fitness is my immediate priority. As such, there will be plenty more photos like this appearing in the coming months to chart my progress.

I was too big for my running vests and shirts - I won't be forever

I'm a believer

Yesterday marked the first phase of my diet. Stop eating junk, restricting myself to a regular three meals per day. Today I got phase 2 under way, namely dragging my sorry self kicking and screaming into exercise. Since completing the Royal Parks Half Marathon back in October, I've only been out for a run once. The overeating I described yesterday has inevitably impacted on my fitness levels and it was fair to say I was not expecting much from myself.

During the second half of 2013, I was a regular at the Black Park parkrun. Last year, it fell from my weekend routine and I think that contributed to my malaise. With that in mind I treated myself to an annual parking permit yesterday so that I've no excuses not to get myself out of the house on a Saturday morning.

When I was woken this morning, there was quite a downpour going on outside. With both boys sleeping uncharacteristically beyond 7.30, I could have been forgiven for keeping snug in my bed. However, I knew that going for a run this morning was important, perhaps more so for my psychology than my physicality. Rain or no rain, I was doing this.

First #parkrun for some time beckons. Not going to wimp out despite the heavy downpour
— Graham Kaye-Taylor (@bigfatrebel) January 3, 2015

After driving through the puddles of South Bucks and parking up, I did have to question my sanity at being there.

Definitely one of those mornings where I ask myself why? #parkrun pic.twitter.com/GcdOjCMju6
— Graham Kaye-Taylor (@bigfatrebel) January 3, 2015

Fortunately I had an old friend to point out the obvious.

@bigfatrebel black park looks er um #wet
— Stephen Hale (@Wisey999) January 3, 2015

Meanwhile others were more supportive

@bigfatrebel because you'll feel great afterwards!
— Laura White (@sugarfloat) January 3, 2015

@bigfatrebel these are the mornings that make the difference :)
— Steve Gaffney (@sdgaffney) January 3, 2015

I couldn't agree more with the last point. It did make a difference. The sense of achievement from making it round the course is palpable. My body and mind felt lifted, and though a couple of hours later I'm feeling somewhat weary, doing this today has set me on a good course for the coming weeks.

I'm hot, sweaty, smelly pretty darn unpleasant but for the first time in months I feel alive #parkrun
— Graham Kaye-Taylor (@bigfatrebel) January 3, 2015

My time was not important today. I barely dipped inside 30 minutes and was my second slowest finish over the distance. But I didn't care. Today was about waking my body from it's slumber and surviving. The time will improve as my waistline contracts and my fitness levels recover. I'm not convinced I'll be getting back to sub-24 minutes 5Ks any time soon, but that isn't my motivation right now. You have to learn to crawl before you run after all.

What I have now is a mental baseline. I know that I can do this. I know that on a wet and miserable January morning I can go for a run. Come Wednesday and the first proper weigh-in of the year, I will know that I can get my weight back under control. Self-belief is incredibly important to achieve successful weightloss. I know it is only 3rd January, but I'm a believer once again.

Wednesday Weigh-In 30 July

Did you miss me?

It has been a bit of a prolonged absence from the blog. More than 50 days away and probably lots of questions about what has been going on. In that time there has been the World Cup, a trip with the family to Disneyland Paris, the start of an interim promotion at work, a birthday, a wedding, my eldest finishing Reception Year at school and my youngest deciding that partial lower limb paralysis was not going to stop him getting vertical.

Who is a clever boy then?

I've not spent a great deal of time thinking about my weight. Until the last few days I've done very little exercise either, with my 6 week gym membership expiring with little usage. All the while my wife has been very proactively dieting and doing incredibly well. I'm very proud of what she has achieved to date thus far and only wish I had been more supportive in recent weeks.

I wouldn't say that I've been in self-destruct mode, but I've definitely not been at my best on the eating front. I'm carrying a bit more lumbar than a few months back but things could have been a whole lot worse. I briefly touched 15st a couple of weeks ago which I can't say was a tipping point, but has prompted some corrective action. Spending a few days with Mickey Mouse certainly helped as there is a hell of a lot of walking involved going round the park day after day. The prohibitive cost of food meant I was restricted to the picnic prepared every morning, cutting out top up snacks. The walking and hot Parisian sun certainly helped to burn the calories.

This week I've started to turn my attention back towards exercise. I signed up some time ago for the Royal Parks Half Marathon in October and it has dawned on me that it won't be long before that comes around. Barring a handful of sessions on a treadmill in my short lived gym experience, I had not run since my half marathon back in March. Knee and back injuries, apathy and the lazy lure of summertime have put paid to my fitness levels, and when I embarked at the weekend on my first parkrun since February it showed. I recorded my second slowest time over the 5k distance and it was one hell of a struggle.

Slow Slow Slow

Still, it was a starting point to move forwards from. My first meaningful run in months, exhausted from the week away. Probably a bit dehydrated. Lots of excuses I could draw upon, but ultimately down to my inactivity in recent times. With the cobwebs shaken and the body given a rude awakening to the concept of exercise, I felt better for it. Last night I went for another run and it was easier. Still a lot of mileage to cover in the next couple of months to get me race fit.

Tuesday night action

So where do I sit on the weight front. Better than expected to be honest. I'm approaching my 6th wedding anniversary and I'm virtually 1st lighter than the day I got hitched. The 14st target remains aspirational and not altogether out of sight, and with the upcoming surge in training I should be able to shift a few lbs without having to starve myself in the process.

Content

Onwards and upwards then. 73 days to go until I run this  Plenty of work needed to get me to the finish line.

Wednesday Weigh-In 26 February

The wobbles are over. To be honest they were over when I wrote last week's weigh in article as I'd already dispensed with the gremlins and recovered what all dieters need, namely control. I've been somewhat quiet on the blogging front over the last 7 days, at least with regards to dieting. Usually when I go for periods without writing it is because I'm in an unhappy place and don't want to face the music. This week it has been more a question of quietly going about my business, with a steely determination to claw back some of the gains of the past three weeks.

As it has turned out, I've wiped the slate clean. And then a bit more. I've gone sub 14 stone for the first time since I don't know when. Probably 20 years or more. Maybe even a little further back.

Yikes!

While I have been very focused on the job at hand and disciplined with food since the last weigh-in, I've not exactly been living off rabbit food. Last Thursday I bought my son a McDonald's for a lunchtime treat and had one myself. Twice I've enjoyed Truly Irresistible Sticky Toffee Pudding with plenty of custard, thanks to Co-operative and their deliciously tempting half price deal. I've kept away from bread during workdays but indulged in cheese on toast on both Saturday and Sunday. There was even a little bit of grazing on Sunday, but I've become quite comfortable with the idea of having one day a week where I'm picking at things to eat, so long as the remaining 6 I'm not.

This week's loss then has been achieved through control. I've laughed in the face of the biscuits and chocolates being offered to me at work by colleagues. I've kept away from snacks all week, with the exception of Sunday. McDonald's was eaten in sensible proportion, having a medium size wrap of the day meal. Years ago I'd have plumped for a super size meal with at least 1 additional item from the saver menu on top. The toffee pudding was a bit of a vice I admit, but then one night it was factored in as a reward for a 5k run in the morning, and replaced booze which I've quietly taken off the menu.

With all of my focus on my weight, I have dropped the ball somewhat on the exercise front. Beyond my parkrun on Saturday morning, the only time I've pulled on the running gear was last Wednesday night when I didn't go particularly far. Interrupted nights courtesy of the little man combined with a bit less energy from ditching the junk has meant I've not really been up for exercise. I'm acutely aware that the half marathon is less than 4 weeks away now so will have to put in some lengthy training runs between now and then, which means I'll need to fuel up. It was worth sacrificing a few miles in the last 7 days to help restore my sanity. Let's hope it sticks around for a while longer.

Related articles

• Wednesday Weigh-In - 19 February
• Wednesday Weigh-In 8 January
• 2nd January - Let's Do This

Winner Winner Chicken Dinner

My blogs on a Sunday night tend to be quite negative affairs. I've usually eaten too much and am feeling a little sorry for myself when I come to write them, and could quite easily have penned an article that maintained form had I got around to writing this earlier. However, unlike previous Sundays, today had a happier ending to report.

Yes I've consumed a hell of a lot more than I would during the week. There has been cheese. There have been bags of crisps. Toast came back into my life and then there was the smaller matter of the roast dinner I cooked for the family this afternoon. I should have felt bloated. I should have beached of the couch tonight. Instead I checked on the weather, felt that my evening meal was far enough down the digestive tract for exercising without nausea, and then pulled on the running gear.

The net result? Well, whereas yesterday I really struggled with the 5k, tonight I ran 10k in 52 and a half minutes. http://www.mapmyrun.com/workout/471158571

This will either set me up well for a couple of well disciplined days ahead of the weigh in on Wednesday, or make me feel like hell. The jury is out on which way it will go but I'm expecting to be a little sore in the morning.

Despite my relative struggle on Saturday morning, it has been good to get running again after the self-imposed break for illness. Since Thursday I've clocked up just under 21km, effectively a half marathon. Sometime between now and 22 March, I've got to pull the three workouts into one and not spread it across different days.

A good way to end the week. Hopefully the next one will be more productive still.

Related articles

• Going The Distance
• In Praise of ParkRun
• Wednesday Weigh-In - 11 December
• Saturday Struggle
• Twiddling my thumbs isn't much fun

Saturday Struggle

Following my tongue biting exploits of a couple of days ago, today represented a chance to get things back to normal. Saturday morning means parkrun, and having missed out last week I was raring to go this morning. The overnight rainfall meant the ground was always going to be soft under foot, but it wasn't particularly chilly so I was anticipating a good run.

What I had was a struggle. It became self evident early on that my lungs may have been up for plodding around the estate on Thursday night, but they were not going to play ball at parkrun pace. I could hear me gasping before I reached the 1k marker. Before reaching the 2k, my parkrun acquaintance caught me up, wished me a good morning and I could barely muster words back to him. On reaching 3k I did something I've not done for some time and took a breather slowing to walking pace. 

I absolutely thought I was done. Like a broken steam train I was coughing and spluttering. A fellow runner asked me if I was ok and I assured him I was, but didn't really feel that was the case. I was staring at my first DNF and concerned about the psychological repercussions that may have for the challenges ahead. So I got myself moving again, and decided to make the best of the situation. If I wasn't feeling physically strong, why not turn this into a training session to replicate the latter stages of the half marathon, when I know I will find the going gets tough.

At the 4k post I found myself taking a breather again. The incline at this point on the Black Park course is nothing like as severe as Bradford's teeny tiny hill, but when I've already mentally given in earlier in the race, it stands to reason that I will also slow down for the most difficult part of the circuit. Into the last stretch and I found it difficult to keep pace with a junior female runner. I know when I'm running that I'm not in competition with anybody else, but it isn't great for confidence when overtaken by a little girl.

Yes, I run like a girl

At the finish line came a sense of relief. Things will get easier as my chest and lungs clear up, and I get back into the running groove. I wasn't particularly interested in my finish time but when the text came through I was rather surprised at it's respectability. 24.29 is by no means a poor effort (my PB is 23.46) so with two breathers and some lingering germs factored in, this was a good run. It just really didn't feel like it at the time!

If the chance permits, I'll get out again on Sunday for a more leisurely if longer run to build up stamina and put distance back into my legs. I felt no ill effect from my Thursday night plod around the estate so something at a similar pace should do no harm. 

Related articles

• In Praise of ParkRun
• Only Smarties Have The Answer
• My first parkrun
• Going The Distance
• Wednesday Inspiration - Parkrun
• Twiddling my thumbs isn't much fun

Only Smarties Have The Answer

I sometimes think how good it must be to be in advertising. I don't necessarily mean chain smoking, adulterous head cases like Don Draper, but more the fruit of labours of advertising types. Whoever came up with the concept of being a Secret Lemonade Drinker must chortle that R Whites continue to use that line when promoting their goods all these years later.

Smarties British Candy (Photo credit: fritish)

As a child I was always taken by the Smarties slogan, 'Only Smarties Have The Answer.' It was never a product that needed clever advertising, after all, how many children aren't going to love brightly coloured chocolate? Looking back now as an adult, I do wonder about the tagline and what it actually means. If Smarties have the answer, what on earth is the question?

Well, I think I may have discovered this yesterday evening. Rather shamefully I grabbed a handful from my son's Christmas stash, and proceeded to eat them. Except karma redressed the balance of me pinching chocolate by causing me to not just chew through the crisp outer coating, but also to thrust my teeth into my tongue, leaving me a bloodied mess. The great Smarties question apparently then goes something along the line of What is the most ridiculous way to demonstrate to diet blog readers that eating chocolate is bad for you?

The single most attractive selfie ever?

Speaking of teeth, it has been an interesting week for my youngest. Over the last 7 days he has acquired three teeth to offer company to his solitary incisor that pushed through in late October. All mums and dads reading this will know about the side effects of teething, and I hope will be sympathetic to how the past week has been for my household. It has been great fun scrubbing vomit from his clothes night after night. Yesterday I got a face-full of petit filous for my trouble after a pre-bedtime coughing fit. Fortunately we've got through today minus any sickness so hopefully that is the end of the teething for now.

Having felt like a tool for my Smarties exploits, and smelling delightfully of baby puke, I decided I needed to do something positive and so after a 10 day break from running dusted off my trainers. Conscious that my lungs were still not clear of gunk I didn't stray too far from the house. I managed five and a half kilometres in a very respectable 27 minutes and suffered no ill effect. Back to parkrun for me then on Saturday morning and maybe a longer run on Sunday.

After learning my lesson about chocolate, the reward for running was delivered pizza, which from a diet perspective didn't make much sense. However, if I am going to indulge in a takeout once in a while, it may as well be on a day when I've worked for it.

Related articles

• In Praise of ParkRun
• 2nd January - Let's Do This
• Survival Sunday
• Winners Wear Yellow
• Wednesday Weigh-In 18 December

Going The Distance

Tonight I've had a bit of a psychological breakthrough in regards to my half marathon training. I'm not afraid to admit that up until this point I've been feeling a little nervous about how far I'll have to go. I've become comfortable doing 5km but the thought of doing that four times back to back with a sprint finish on top has filled me with dread.

Last September I competed in a 10k run, coming home in a respectable 56.38 but a fair chunk of that race was covered at walking pace, most notably that blimming great hill in the middle of the golf course. I wasn't fit enough to run the entire race and in the four months since I've not gone beyond my comfort of a Saturday morning 5k. With the half marathon just over two months away, I had to get out there and get some distance into my legs.

The problem is as a working dad, time is a precious commodity. It is unrealistic for me to run first thing in the morning as I need to get my youngest up and ready for nursery before getting his big brother ready for school. My lunch breaks are now restricted by the fact that I'm making up time that I lose first thing, due to not being able to leave the school gates until 8.40 at the earliest. After work I get home, get the boys fed, bathed and ready for bed. After that, I cook for my wife, who has a much more stressful day than I do, and then my choice is to eat at the same time or pull on the running gear.

So many reasons exist not to go out in the evenings. Fatigue. Hunger. The weather hasn't been entirely helpful for my motivation of late, though I have made it out a couple of times for half hearted efforts. Last night I hoped to run but the rain arrived and drowned my good intentions. Tonight, with clear skies above me I left my excuses at home.

To mix things up, I made a change from my usual route. Going past all those take away outlets was getting a little old, plus a new direction meant I would be unaware of how far I had run. My mind tends to play tricks on me when I see distance markers, even at the parkrun, meaning I suddenly feel weary or notice an ache or pain that wasn't there before. Running blind tonight meant that didn't happen. And when I got back to my driveway I stopped my app to be informed I had managed this.

Boo-ya!

Just under 10k in 52:30. Had I known I was at that sort of distance I'm sure I would have found an extra 100 metres on my way home just to take it up to a nice round figure! Still, I'm feeling pretty darn satisfied this evening. If I can do this on a cold Tuesday night after the little one kindly provided me with a broken night's sleep, then maybe this half marathon business isn't quite as scary as I had been thinking.

13 miles. 21 kilometres. This guy is starting to believe he is going the distance.

Related articles

• In Praise of ParkRun
• My first parkrun

In Praise of ParkRun

The first day of the 2014 version of the diet came and passed without too much difficulty. After the pretty horrible weather that saw out December and welcomed in January, I probably should have taken advantage of a dry evening and pulled on my running gear, but I listened to my body and decided otherwise. It is one thing going from the festive excess to a much more measured intake of calories, but it would be quite another to pound the streets in the dark. My body is going to be confused enough as it is without additional exercise on top.

So the half marathon training has been put on hold, at least for a couple of days while I settle back into diet mode, but Saturday will bring around my favourite time of the week. Long gone are the days of lie-ins or watching Soccer AM over a fried breakfast. Since July my venue of choice for a Saturday morning has been down at my local parkrun participating with several hundred others in a free timed 5 kilometre run. I've been doing this most weekends since July last year, and is probably no coincidence that my weight loss really took off from then onwards.

parkrun logo (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

If you've not heard of parkrun, the premise is pretty simple. Register once online, take your personalised barcode to any of their hundreds of events, and run. It is completely free to participate and you get your results by email or text later in the day. You can even chart your progress by going online to view all of your parkrun results and there are all sorts of statistics on there to get excited about if you're so inclined.

I was put onto parkrun by a twitter follower who had noticed I was blogging about running on a treadmill last spring. At his suggestion, I went along to see what all the fuss was about and I'd have to say that recommendation was spot on. I've met a terrific bunch of people who volunteer their time to put on the event every Saturday morning, without whom parkrun would not exist. Any reservations I may have had about turning up to one of these events as a complete novice were very quickly cast aside. Sure there are some serious runners who race off into the distance never to be seen again until the following weekend, but there is no stereotype that adequately describes a parkrunner. There are men and women well into their senior years, parents running with children or even pushing babies along in strollers. People like me looking to get fit and others making their way round in a more leisurely fashion, enjoying a bit of exercise on a Saturday morning.

I usually attend the Black Park event but because there are so many of these dotted around the country, you can indulge in a little parkrun tourism. I've been to the Bradford run on a couple of occasions whilst visiting family and the welcome you get there is phenomenal, with great support from the stewards, not least when you tackle the fabled 'Teeny Tiny Hill'

Having had parkrun recommended to me, I'm more than happy to encourage others to get involved. I've had a couple of colleagues join me from work before, my brother-in-law, a friend from the football club has come along with his sons and from a brief interaction on Facebook earlier today it looks like an old school friend will be joining me on Saturday morning.

If you are looking for something to get you more active in 2014, don't be afraid to give this a go. It doesn't matter if you're not Mo Farah, as you are only racing against yourself rather than the other participants. Who knows, you like me might find an inner runner inside of you that you never knew existed.

Related articles

• Still in the chase
• Running in the New Year
• Burning of the Christmas calories
• 2nd January - Let's Do This
• 2013: The year I ran and ran and ran

Still in the chase

In mid-October, my weekly ParkRun newsletter informed me of a competition they were running in conjunction with Lucozade Sport, one of their sponsors. #ChaseThePlace has a pretty simple premise; run or volunteer at 8 ParkRun events during a defined 8 week period and you will get your name thrown into the hat for a place in the London Marathon, competing in the Lucozade Sport team.

When I first read the email, I barely battered an eyelid. There are hundreds of these events taking place every Saturday morning, with thousands upon thousands participating. After the first weekend of #ChaseThePlace there were over 35,000 people in the competition. You don't have to be much of a betting guru to realise the odds are not exactly in your favour at this point, so I just nodded, not really paying this competition another thought.

After three weeks, the number of runners had drastically reduced, with just over 10,000 still in with a chance. And then a big carrot was dangled in front of me. To spice up the competition, the sponsors could pick a week to reward runners for recording a personal best, by giving a second entry to the final ballot assuming all 8 races were completed. Partly motivated by this, and with Week 4 selected by the Lucozade people, I smashed my PB, knocking a massive 44 seconds off the previous mark.

What a way to spend a Saturday morning - Photo by George Mardall

Week 5 came and went and now I'm told there are 5,747 ParkRunners still in the competition. Three more Saturday mornings to go and with the numbers likely to suffer a bit more attrition, the odds are starting to come a little more in my favour.

Should the unthinkable happen and I were to win the competition, it would be an interesting dilemma. I've never run beyond 10k, so to suddenly be elevated into a marathon would be challenging in the extreme. Would I be up to the task or be able to dedicate time in the early months of 2014 to get myself race ready? Who knows. The fact is before the start of July, the notion of me getting up on a Saturday morning was implausible. Now I look forward to pulling on the running gear throughout the week and bracing the cold autumnal temperatures that Saturday morning in Black Park offers. If offered the chance, it would be pretty rude not to accept.

Of course, while this competition provides me with a nice distraction, it is just a bit of fun. Turning up to run 8 successive weeks is a walk in the park compared to the commitment I've demonstrated to losing weight this year. I wouldn't be physically able to do this now, had I not put in the hard graft to shed the pounds and become more active.

#YearOfTheDiet has been a yearlong marathon. #ChaseThePlace would be the cherry on top.

Related articles

• Cold, wet and far from miserable
• The Fantastic 4
• #ChaseThePlace
• Parkruns & PBs
• Park Run