Run Fatboy Run

I'm not quite sure at what point it was that I became fat. When I started primary school all those years ago I was pretty skinny. By the time I left that school at the age of 9, I had chunked up considerably, to the point that when getting changed for PE class, some of the other boys encouraged me to move my arms inwards, compressing my chest and making what they thought looked like a pair of breasts. They found it funny and that early age I learned to laugh at myself.

As I grew older, progressing into secondary school I was always the fat kid. The fact that I was usually the tallest in the class probably meant I got away with quite an easy time of it. I was never really bullied, though there were one or two characters who made my life less easy than it needed to be. Towards the end of school, the 6th formers took over for the day as part of a long running tradition. In the performance we put on, a take off of TFI Friday was staged. You won't have to guess too hard which role I had. Yep, I was the Fat Lookalike, a role I embraced standing in front of 900 or so people declaring I was a fat Mr Warren (sports/japanese teacher). It was always easier to make a joke of my size rather than do anything about it.

At university, I became affectionately known as Big G. When I got back into watching Slough Town after I graduated, I adopted the forum name BigFatRebel (Slough are nicknamed The Rebels), which seemed pretty appropriate. It was a persona that has hung around even to this day, with my Twitter account using the name and the blogger account from which these posts are generated from called BFRweightloss. Even thought I've lost the weight, the name has hung around as some sort of security blanket.

And yet despite outwardly being the typical 'jolly' character that is stereotyped about a fat guy, I was never really happy. I hated having to buy new trousers, either because I'd bust a seam or because my mammoth thighs rubbed together creating holes. For years I wouldn't sit on a toilet seat for fear of breaking it. Having to order clothes online because no high street shops stocked my size was pretty horrible. But rather than do something about this, instead I chose to eat and got bigger.

It took someone very special to get me to change my ways. I hate to think of what sort of state I'd be in right now if my gorgeous wife hadn't seen past my size and unlocked my heart. Probably on a Sky Living programme about a big guy who can't leave the house and needs to have MRI's at a vet because I'd be too big for the ones at hospital.

So I lost weight. This year has been a good year for me to date. More than 3 stone lost and heading towards my lightest as an adult. And to provide the exclamation point, in the last few months I've discovered running. Readers of this blog will be sick of me going on about it, but it has become an important part of my success. Today I did something that wouldn't have been possible in the past. I participated in the Moor Park 10k, and while I await the official time, know I crossed the finish line with 56.something minutes on the clock. The cherry on the top comes in the form of my colleagues and I collectively raising more than £900 for charity, which we're hoping will nudge up to four figures.

I've achieved my weightloss goals for this year, and now completed a life goal to run a 10k. Not bad for a fatboy. Time I moved on and got myself a new name.

Runner 1226 - with a medal for finishing the race

Bloke in the middle used to be 24st - well done to my colleagues too!

Making Graham Happy

In the last 24 hours, I've been dealing with temptation. The lure of a pint after work on a Friday afternoon was avoided. The tub of Celebrations gifted by a satisfied client was palmed off to my wife, while the offer of an ice cold bottle of cider as reward for another good week of exercise and watching what I eat was reluctantly declined. It isn't a case that I don't believe I should have a treat once in a while; it is more the fact that I know me only too well and one treat will lead to another. Let's be honest, one glass on a Friday night is never enough!

I'm often asked how do I stay so resolute and focused. I'll admit it takes a certain amount of pigheadedness to stick solely to three meals a day, particularly now that I've picked up an exercise bug. While a certain amount of motivation is directed towards where I want to be with my weight, the vast majority is cased in desire to not return to what I've been before. Having spent a large portion of my life as what can be most kindly described as Supersize, I know only too well the cumulative effect of having a few treats (and all the rest).

8 years ago I participated in a TV show for the BBC, called Making Slough Happy. 50 of the town's residents were put through a programme of activities, with the ambitious aim to try to make us all happier in our lives. I've managed to dig out a copy of one of the episodes and edited some of my footage, to visually share exactly what the 25 year old me looked like.

When I signed up for the show, I didn't necessarily expect to camp out with a peculiar psychologist in the New Forest; hugging trees was clearly not for me. However, one hope that I did have which I expressed during my initial interview was that through participation I may find a way to lose weight. 23st+ Graham wasn't a pretty sight I'm sure you'll agree. 

While the activities I was involved with in the show did not focus on my physical well-being, I've always been aware that Making Slough Happy did have a profound change on my life. Firstly, it helped me to reach a decision to leave a job that I'd not enjoyed for some time, but secondly while camped out with virtual strangers, I felt compelled to reach out to a distant friend who I missed. That person I've now been married to for almost five years and is mother to my two beautiful children. Good decision if you ask me.

A combination of those factors led me some 18 months after the show was filmed to diet, having created a platform for me to move forward. I lost 9 stone in the next two years and went from the big guy in the video to somebody who was a lot more happy with themselves. Having put back on some of that weight in the last year or so, my motivation is clear - I don't want to go back to how I was. So if I decline the occasional treat or seem quite anal at times about maintaining my diet, it isn't a question of self-punishment; I just know only too well what overindulgence can lead to.

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The most worthy walk

Slough Town F.C. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

On Saturday I joined a dozen other people with whom I share a common bond. For our sins, we support Slough Town Football Club, a team in the eighth tier of the English football pyramid plying their trade in Evostik Southern League Division One Central. For more than a decade, we have looked forward to the fixture list being released to see who we will face on our last away match of the season. Why does this fixture hold significance? Well, somebody had the bright idea some years back that the Rebels should walk to that last game and it has been a tradition that has followed ever since.

Sometimes the fixture list has been kind. A walk to Beaconsfield from Slough a couple of years ago presented nothing more than an afternoon stroll. At the extreme end, two hardy souls made an epic journey in excess of 100 miles walking to Sutton Coldfield. I've been involved in several walks along the way, making trips to East Molesey (Metropolitan Police), Harrow and Hampton, along with a quite silly 60 mile trek to Worthing on the south coast. When North Greenford Utd appeared as the last away game, a sigh of relief must have gone up from those Rebels who are mad enough to have considered the possibility of a long trek to places like Daventry or Rugby. As it turned out, postponements during the season has meant that an away game to Thatcham needed to be rearranged for 23 April. Two of the more hardcore walkers from our group decided to undertake walks to both North Greenford and Thatcham. That's dedication for you!

The Slough Town walkers - photo courtesy of www.horshamrebel.co.uk 

The end of season walks have always been more than just taking a long winded route to a football match. We've used them to raise money for a number of charities over the years and this year was no different. Back in the middle of February I was sat in the Special Baby Care Unit at Kings College Hospital. My son Jacob was 6 days old and making good progress in recovering from the surgery he had undergone within hours of his birth. At that time I received a message from the General Secretary of Slough Town to say that they wanted to designate Shine as one of the charities that the walk would be raising money for this year. To say I was touched is an understatement.

Jacob was diagnosed with Spina Bifida during the pregnancy and was born with myelomeningocele, which is layman terms means his spinal cord came outside his back due to an incomplete spinal canal. Two and a half months later and the only evidence of this is a small scar on his lower back, with ongoing hospital appointments to monitor his health. To the naked eye he is perfectly normal, happy, bouncing baby boy, but we know that as the months and years go by, we will gain a better understanding of his ongoing needs. Fortunately we know that the Shine charity will be there to support us along the way, providing invaluable advice and information about living with Spina Bifida.

Following the initial shock of the diagnosis at the 20 week scan, my wife and I had lots of questions. They say that ignorance is bliss and it is fair to say that prior to that ultrasound we had no previous knowledge of Spina Bifida. We asked questions to the doctors but most were padded off with a 'wait and see' response which became increasingly frustrating. While we understood they wanted to deal with facts and not offer information that may later turn out to be incorrect, as expectant parents, we needed to look beyond the black and white to build a greater understanding of our son's condition and the effects it would have both on his life and ours.

While the doctors at times wanted to make us as parents aware of the worst case scenario, and remind us we had 'options', we found a lot more answers by talking to Shine. They are a charity who provide support and information to families like mine who were coming to terms with a Spina Bifida diagnosis. From talking to them and tapping into their knowledge, we came to learn more about SB, the implications it may have for our baby and how it would effect his life. We also were greatly encouraged by reading stories of other children born with the same condition and of adults who have grown up enjoying normal fulfilling lives. We were under no illusion that raising a child with Spina Bifida would present challenges, but based upon what we knew, there was only one plausible option for us which was to continue with the pregnancy.

And we are so glad that we did. Jacob is amazing and brings the same levels of joy as our elder son. We have perhaps been fortunate that his spinal lesion was at the lower end of his back and to date he has not required a shunt installed on his brain to alleviate hydrocephalus, but we are acutely aware that it is early days yet and the full extent of his bladder and bowel function are unknown as is his future mobility, though the early indication from his physiotherapist is that he will be able to walk. Come what may, he will be our little superstar and when you read utterly inspiring stories  of other people with Spina Bifida, you can't help but feel confident about the future, not least as we know Shine will be there to support Jacob along the way.

Back to the walk, and it was a glorious day for a stroll. Sunshine overhead and taking a path alongside the Grand Union Canal, a 15 mile walk from Slough to North Greenford was pretty straightforward. A few blisters were acquired along the way, but with all things relative, a little bit of discomfort for a couple of days pales into insignificance. I've personally raised in excess of £300 for Shine, thanks to the generosity of family, friends and colleagues. Combined with money raised by my fellow walkers, there should be a tidy sum making its way to Shine in due course.

My pride and joy - well worth walking 15 miles for - Photo from www.horshamrebel.co.uk

A selection of photos from the walk can be found in this article

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Slough - North Greenford in pictures

Here is a collection of pictures taken along the route from Slough to Greenford on 20 April. We were blessed with very good weather. 

Getting ready to set off

The path to Greenford starts here. Beautiful day for a stroll

Artwork under a bridge in Slough

Even the drain area to the side of the canal looks pretty

The march continues

Utterly glorious day

Packet Boat Marina

Waterside property in the Hayes area

We could smell coffee. This was why

The future ground of Hayes and Yeading FC?

Welcome to Greenford indeed!

Time for a quick refreshment at The Black Horse

We made it!

The aftermath - a toe twice its normal size. Love blisters!

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Walking with intent

I will be spending my Saturday morning exercising for more than just the sake of burning a few calories. Read on to find out more

On Saturday 20 April I will be joining the merry band of Slough Town Football Club supporters as we embark on our end of season charity walk. By tradition we use the last away game of the season to raise money for worthy causes, and this year we will be supporting a cause very close to my heart.

Last Autumn my family’s world was turned upside down when we were told at our 20 week scan that there were complications with our pregnancy. A diagnosis of Spina Bifida was made and we were encouraged by doctors to consider our options. Fortunately, we found out very quickly about the Shine charity, who offer support to families like mine in providing information about Spina Bifida and the related condition Hydrocephalus. Through talking to Shine, finding out more about Spina Bifida and how children and adults live with the condition, we reached the decision to continue with the pregnancy. Jacob was born in February and every day since we have been thankful that we listened to Shine because when I look at my son and see such a happy little boy, it is unpalatable to think that on the strength of a diagnosis we knew very little about, we could have looked at other ‘options’.

Options? What options!

The walk this year a relatively simple route from Slough to North Greenford Utd. A leisurely 15 mile stroll to watch a non-league football match and raise some money for a fantastic cause. If you are able to offer an sponsorship, my family and I will be extremely grateful.

I can be contacted by email should you wish to get in touch, donate or wish me well. You can find out more about the Shine Charity by going to www.shinecharity.org.uk 

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