There was no need for atmospheric music building to a
crescendo this morning. I knew the outcome of Wednesday Weigh In long before I
jumped onto the scales. For the third straight week there is a gain and whereas
there have been no alarm bells ringing out in previous weeks, my attention is
now firmly been gripped. A tipping point was reached a couple of days ago, and
now I’m consciously moving back into diet mode. There is no point in talking
about maintenance if all I’m doing is piling on the pounds.
 |
| Not a giant leap for mankind, but an unwelcome upward trajectory |
I stopped the rot on Monday night, putting an end to the
feasting that has become daily ritual of late. While it was too late to reverse
the effects of the preceding days, it felt good to call it quits. It is a very
strange feeling knowing that you are hurting yourself with food, but when I’m
on a downward spiral, I find it very difficult to stop. Although never formally
identified, I tick most of the characteristics of a binge eater. Compulsive overeating
is more than just seeking comfort from a box of chocolates or a tub of ice
cream. I certainly never got to 24 stone through indulging in just an
occasional treat. It is a constant need to eat, whether hungry or not, despite
knowing that I don’t need to.
When I find myself rummaging through cupboards grabbing
handfuls of breakfast cereal, I know there is a problem. Recognising it as an
issue is the first step to addressing the situation. I’ve become adept at
dieting through adopting a tight disciplinary approach to what I consume, thus
suppressing compulsion. My attitude towards weight maintenance has probably
hindered me. I was supposed to be keeping things steady at 14 stone rather than
looking for further weightloss. Psychologically I think this was a green light
for my defences to drop and with broken sleep thrown into the mix, I cooked up
a nice big portion of dieting sabotage.
The good news is I feel I’ve emerged from the slump. Yesterday
I didn’t deviate from my three meals, barring a couple of mouthfuls of my
eldest son’s leftovers. I rejected biscuit and chocolate overtures from
colleagues. I kept my grubby mitts away from the cupboards apart from when
there was legitimate reason to do so. I feel like I’ve re-established control
and pushing this dieting juggernaut back on track. Even the little man obliged
last night giving me a whole night in my own bed for the first time in quite a
while.
A whole night in bed? What's your secret?
ReplyDeleteSeriously though, it's so much easier to overeat when you're tired.
Good luck for the coming week!
Hi Lauren - yes, 1 whole night! I felt incredibly blessed :)
DeleteI know what you mean, but there is overeating and seriously overeating and I've been in the second of the two camps recently. When you take no comfort in what you're doing but continue nonetheless, there is nothing positive to be said about it.
This week has got off to a much better start and I'm determined to keep it going. A long run tonight should be in the offing, unless little man intervenes. MMR jab this afternoon so potential to be cranky - a bit like his daddy in recent days
It's just a blip, so don't beat yourself up too much because overall, you've still done fantastically. Try to keep the bigger picture in sight but realising what the problem is is definitely the first step to remedying it. Feel free to link up with the Sunday weigh-in too : http://madhousefamilyreviews.blogspot.com/2014/02/sunday-weigh-in-wheeee-fit.html The more the merrier !
ReplyDeleteCheers Cheryl. I appreciate what you're saying, and you're right to encourage me not to beat myself up. It probably will be just a blip but having put back on weight in the past, I want to nip this nosedive in the bud sooner rather than later. Will remember to join in on Sunday - thanks
DeleteWhen you think how incredibly you have done, this is a tiny set back. I know you can do this again next week. Don't beat yourself up too much, that just adds to the feeling of failure.......and you haven't failed x
ReplyDeleteThanks Jo :) Don't worry, I've not lost sight of the bigger picture. I'd much rather be 14 4 than pushing 24 again. But after spending the best part of the last week feeling pretty wretched and digging myself into hole, I'm now doing what is necessary to climb out. That is addressing things head on, being open and direct on here and putting right want needs changing.
DeleteI certainly don't feel that I've failed - but I would if I wasn't trying to do something about it. Positive affirmative action is the order of the day :)
Hopefully this is just a blip and you'll be back on track by now. You have achieved a MASSIVE loss and there are bound to be times when temptation looms. If you've kept any of your old clothes, get them out and see how far you've come :)
ReplyDelete