Guilt Free Lunch

Way back in January when I started out on this weightloss mission, I wrote an article in which I declared Subway Is Dead To Me, With the exception of a special day in February when my little one was born, I have steered clear. Today I broke with the convention and enjoyed a footlong 'Big Beef Melt' on honey oat bread, toasted with cheese, served with lettuce, cucumber, green peppers, pickles and drizzled in sweet onion sauce (for some absurd reason they didn't have honey mustard so had to go with an alternative).

Here it is in its full glory

Damn that Sub looks good!

I savoured every mouthful and scoffed the lot. Now, this isn't exactly my usual behaviour, or at least it hasn't been over the last 10 months or so. I usually get by with a pretty humble salad for lunch these days, which is just as well because making this a regular option would prove costly, both to the wallet and the diet success. The fact is though, a treat once in a while is allowed, and I think my circumstances today justified it.

I was awake from just after 3 after the little one decided he was no longer asleep. Poor little thing has been teething and plagued with the sniffles, so it has not been uncommon for he and I to get acquainted during the night. However, unlike most other nights, he really was determined not to go back to sleep. Blowing raspberries, pulling my ears, chuntering away. Any sleep I managed between then and 6 was patchy in the extreme. The alarm went off and it was action stations, needing to get the two of us out of the house quickly and on the road.

Today was an appointment with the neurosurgeon to discuss the results of a recent MRI scan on his head and spine. Unfortunately to get there meant joining the commute into London. It wasn't a good sign when I had to queue to get onto the M4 in the first place. The radio told me what I didn't want to hear; an accident further down the road causing delays. We'd set off with plenty of time to spare, but this was not what was wanted. Tired, grouchy, a little nervous about the outcome of the appointment, and with raspberries blowing at me from the back seat while pootling along at a snail's pace, I realised that I hadn't had time for breakfast. Fortunately I'd had the sense to have some cans of diet pepsi on hand to provide a caffeine boost for the journey, but even so, this was not the best way to start the day.

It took a while to get into town. Typically little man fell asleep towards the end of the journey meaning when we parked up he woke up grumpy and made pretty clear his demands for milk. Fortunately that soothed the beast and brought back my smiley boy. The appointment followed soon afterwards and there was much relief when told there was no change from the previous scan and we continue as we have been doing for the last few months. No need for any operations, just get on with life and scan again in a number of months time.

I managed to get little man to his nursery just in time for him to sit down with the other babies for lunch. Home via the GP to request a repeat prescription and then off to work for the afternoon. Still no food and by the time I reached the office I'd been awake for more or less 9 hours. Subway was calling out to me and why not. It had been a long morning. The treat was justified, Best of all, that is all it was. A treat. A one off. There will be no repeat. I'll be munching on my spinach and cucumber tomorrow. I'll have had my porridge for breakfast. I'll be returning to what has served me so well over the last year. Self control is the single most important factor when it comes to dieting. Right now I have have it, and so long as that remains the case, bad habits won't creep back in.

So here is to an occasional guilt free lunch. You served me well today Subway, bringing me out of a sleep deprived, anxiety filled morning and setting me up for the rest of the day. But having met my needx, you can go back to being dead to me once more. See you again in the future some time.