Saturday, 12 January 2013

Time for some light relief

The last couple of posts have been a little bit on the serious side, so for today's article I think it is time to lighten the mood. So to get things started, here is a little picture to remind myself why I am doing this.


In my case, if only it was just at Christmas I got fat. Then it could be quickly worked off.

Here is a little picture for all you calorie counters out there - a scientific explanation of what is a calorie


Fortunately the calories seems to be undoing their best needlework, as my clothes are starting to feel a little bit looser. Just as well really, as I wouldn't want a repeat of what happened to me just before Christmas when I was checking my tyre pressures at a petrol station.


Ah yes, the classic signpost for recognising you've let yourself slip too far, when you bend down and your fat behind proves too strong for the seam of your trousers. That awful ripping noise made worse my the public nature of the event. Fortunately enough I was very close to a big supermarket with a clothing department and was able to purchase a cheap pair of jeans to cover my embarrassment.

Now, I positively advocate that to successfully diet, you need to eat three meals a day, and not try to cut corners by skipping breakfast or lunch here and there. It appears that I'm not the only person who thinks so as the following sign has been spotted recently in branches of Pret a Manger.


Wise words from the hungry gingerbread man, though as advertising campaigns go it is a little bit odd. Not sure I've ever had the 'pleasure' of eating at Pret, and having sneaked a look at their menu online I'm not sure they serve anything that I'd consider proper food anyway.

Last but by certainly no means least, we have news of the smart fork, which admonishes its user for eating too quickly or for putting too much in your mouth at once. So for those of us who are unable to self-restrain, we now have something other than Diane Abbott to intervene on our behalf!

You can read more about the 'happy fork' in this article
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Friday, 11 January 2013

Let's get physical

I'm a great believer in the basics of dieting. If you want to successfully lose weight there are two vital elements. Firstly, consume less and secondly, exercise more. I've made a good start to the former but to my shame it is approaching the middle of January and I'm yet to really contemplate getting off my rather large behind and burn some calories. This will change and I'll be donning my joggers in the very near future.

In 2007 when I embarked on my first diet, I was a 24st very unfit seriously obese man. At that time I was too embarrassed by my physique to step foot in a gym or be seen in a pair of shorts at the local swimming pool. But I was adamant that if I was going to reach my goals, I had to complement my change in eating habits with some good honest physical graft. That January I bought myself a sturdy exercise bike and for the next 4 months I sweated bucketloads using it three or four times a week. By the end of May, I'd lost 4st and signed up for membership at my local gym.

I'm starting 2013 in a different position to where I was 6 years ago. My level of fitness is well down on where I would like it to be but I'm not afraid to hit the gym. What I am lacking is motivation, or at least I was. A couple of days ago I receive a nice message of support from an old school friend who told me that he was looking forward to monitoring my progress. Knowing that he is a bit of a fitness freak I jested that I didn't expect to be running marathons like him but if all went well I'd look into the possibility of running in a shorter event later in the year. He then challenged me by saying that if I beat my weightloss targets, he would run a 5k/10k with me before Christmas.

Well, I'm not going to duck this challenge. I am going to meet it head on. I will shed the lbs and now I've got my motivation to get physical. This doesn't mean I'm going to hit the gym every day, or pound the streets night after night, but I have a focus and target to build towards throughout the months ahead. It is going to take time and sweat, lots of aches and pains, but in addition to this being the Year of the Diet, 2013 will be a year where I make a concerted effort to get fit.

If anybody has any tips about running, I'd welcome you sharing them with me!
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Thursday, 10 January 2013

Lead us from temptation

Yesterday was without a shadow of a doubt the toughest day of the diet so far. I know I'm only a handful of days into this and there will be more difficult challenges ahead, but my word this was not fun. On a day when I should have been incredibly proud of myself for completing the first week of the diet and being rewarded with a positive Wednesday weigh-in, throughout the morning I found myself thinking about food.

It started during my walk from the car park to the office. As I marched towards another day at work, my nostrils were filled by the smell of baking Subway bread wafting towards me. This is nothing unusual as it is pretty hard to avoid when your building is directly opposite a franchise, but today it registered on my hunger scale and got my taste buds jumping.

Throughout the morning, food was on my mind. Several trips to the water dispenser did nothing to appease my insatiable desire to eat something. Anything. At one point I even consulted the office diary to see if any of my colleagues were celebrating a birthday; my department having an unhealthy tradition of going overboard with cake to honour special occasions. In an office of 30 or so people, that is a pretty regular conveyor belt of sugary badness to feast upon, and I was visualising Krispy Kreme, chocolate cake, rocky road bites, the works. You can imagine my disappointment that nobody in the room was born on 9 January.

It really didn't help matters either when my Twitter feed filled up with tweets concerning a competition to win a Nando's voucher.

My lunch break offered an opportunity to escape my desk. I needed to head off-site to pick up some bran flakes having finished off the packet for my breakfast, so I donned my jacket, took a deep breath and waddled like an Olympic 50km walker past that sandwich shop as quickly as I could.

Now if I had been thinking clearly, I probably would have listened to my gurgling stomach and eaten my uninspiring ham and pickle sandwich before I went to the supermarket. I didn't and so for the first time since the diet began I found myself hungry in a store full of every imaginable type of food and only my willpower to stop me from investing in something I would later regret. The problem was I had ventured to a shop I wasn't completely familiar with and in my slightly confused efforts to find the cereal aisle I found myself staring at the head of Medusa.

There directly in front of me was the rotisserie. The first taste was with the eye. The second taste was with the smell. The inner carnivorous caveman in me started snarling. I was like a bull staring down the matador and wouldn't have been surprised if some startled old lady glared in amazement at a salivating 32 year male dragging his foot backwards in imaginary dirt. All I was thinking was meat. MEAT! My eyes were glued to a small rack of ribs. Had I seen them in a different frame of mind, I'd have recognised them as the gristle and fat that any normal person would, but in this frenzied state of mind, they looked like this.

What a mighty fine rack
Something made me blink. I really couldn't tell you what it was, but my trance was broken and I was greeted by the return of logic and reason. I stepped away from the hot meat counter, found my way to the cereal aisle and picked up the box of cheap bran flakes that was the purpose of my mission. For good measure I picked up a second box and bought that too, so as to avoid another mad moment when the next box is emptied.

The price of success

I headed back to the office, ate my sandwich and sanity was restored for the afternoon. Temptation was avoided for the rest of the day, and my will power just about remained intact. A small victory on what I hope will be a long road to success.

Having found myself temporarily reduced to a hungry dog eyeing up a juicy bone, maybe Diane Abbott had a point about banning unhealthy food outlets to protect those without self-restraint after all.

Today will be another day, another set of challenges. Hopefully without borderline lunacy.
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